


In Your Shoes

by crookedneighbour



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Gender Confusion, Gender Issues, Incest Play, Internalized Transphobia, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-27
Updated: 2016-06-27
Packaged: 2018-07-18 13:13:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7316587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crookedneighbour/pseuds/crookedneighbour
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Brienne and Jaime experiment with gender.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Your Shoes

**Author's Note:**

> Brienne is non-binary but refers to herself using she/her still. Jaime isn't sure where he is yet either.

Brienne couldn't believe Jaime had been as supportive as he was. She'd always known it wouldn't take much effort to pass, but it was different to actually try and look like a man than to just be mistaken for one. She paused internally,  _you don't have to pass, you're a man if you say so_ , and continued studying how she looked as Jaime sat back on her bed lazily. Getting the binder on had taken the steam right out of both of them. It looked good though. She was already fairly muscled and flat chested, but the additional shaping made her feel more confident. The _other thing_ , it still embarrassed her to think of it, had been a gift from Jaime. He'd bought it online somewhere and had it shipped overnight, probably on Tywin's credit card. She wore one set of more fitting underwear to hold it in, and boxers (Jaime's) over them for a look she liked better. Jaime had informed her he there was special underwear designed for holding it, but he wanted to make sure she liked them first. Over the binder she had a dark blue and red t-shirt on from her days on the lacrosse team.  It was weird. Trying to look more masculine, had made her feel like her body was more feminine than anyone really ever noticed.

"So... What do you think?" Jaime called out from behind her. 

"I..uh... I like it..." she answered. There was something about it that was still off. She couldn't picture herself being like this all the time, but it felt good in the moment.

"What about the packer?" Jaime said with a smirk.

The packer he had bought her.

"It's good," she said softly. It was. The weight felt good, though a little alien. It felt like she had to pee a little from the pressure of it pressing against her. Any contact near the area, even just her own hand brushing by, made her feel alert there, not aroused, but just more aware of the change.

"I've always thought that if I were a woman I'd be Cersei," Jaime said casually. She knew this meant far more to him than he let on. He was like that, too stupid and proud to admit his feelings.

"You can be a woman if you want.... I mean you already are if it feels right," Brienne offered, turning to face him. He did look like her. She tried refocusing the way she looked at him, actively coding him as a woman. 

"But then who'd be me? There are no men like men," Jaime quipped.

"Gods, you always say that, but I'm not a man," Brienne answered. She knew Jaime hadn't meant it that way. He was too wrapped up in himself to have thought of it, so she offered up something to change the conversation. "And I'm a better fighter on top of that."

"This is how you repay me?" Jaime groaned.

Brienne frowned a little. She hated having to force him into conversations, but that's how it was.

"You can try being Cersei. I won't tell anyone. I know it's different for us. People can understand why you would want to be a man even if they don't see you as one," she said. Her words came out as a long chain in her anxiety. She didn't even know if this was the right thing to say. To her Jaime would be Jaime either way, but it made sense if he needed to compartmentalize like this too. 

Jaime turned from her.

"Would you still touch me like that? Pretending to be brother and sister?"

Jaime had never explicitly said anything about Cersei to her that confirmed or denied the rumor.

"It'd be pretend. It'd be different than if it were real," she explained. She wasn't sure how to handle that either. Her family life was pretty awful, but Jaime's was a different kind. 

They sat in silence for a moment. The bed creaked as Jaime shifted his weight forward.

"You're the only person who understands me. Not father. Not Tyrion," Jaime murmured. His voice was weak.

Brienne moved towards him nervously. Jaime slumped his face against her chest, and she reflexively put her arms around him. He felt fragile. His one hand fiddled with the bottom of her boxers idly.

"Jaime," she sighed.

"That's you," he corrected.

"I just want you to feel right."

"I'd never say that."

Brienne sighed in frustration.

"We shouldn't rush into something like this. We'll need to talk more first." It was wild how much more she knew about safer sex considering she'd still never slept with anyone and Jaime presumably had. 

"I'd still like to go out like this if you feel up to it," Brienne continued, ruffling his hair a bit.

"Just don't take me anywhere boring."

It was unclear which persona Jaime was channeling at this point, and perhaps it didn't matter. There'd be time enough to figure this all out.

 


End file.
